again and again, over and over demons that SCREAM IN MY FACE as if I cannot hear, as if I do not already know this. every inch shredded and I am bare.

Right now every ounce of strength has been drained. I want so badly to GIVE UP and just throw this shit away, let this vicious repetitive cycle of pain and self-loathing slide off my back the way they would if I were a stronger person. We all can wish, can’t we. It’s such a joke how pathetic a human I am; I wish so badly this shameful excuse of an existence wasn’t my life. Searching for answers in others won’t get me anywhere; the only remedy that presents itself is temporal - letting these GOD-FORSAKEN thoughts fall into unconsciousness (along with me).

The best thing left to do is to force myself to be better.