so my foundations are being violently shaken, i’m overwhelmed with confusion, overwhelmed by the weight of the choices before me and i’m afraid, because they are so inevitable, so unavoidable.

i want to hold on to faith. faith has been… almost everything that kept me going all of my life. and isn’t faith being certain of what we cannot see? isn’t the path to destruction wide and gate to heaven narrow? these words have been Truths to me, but now. now… i don’t know anymore. now, logic seems to turn against all that i have believed in.

i don’t even want to think of the huge waves of consequences from this choice. either way, i lose.